The adoptive father had died a few years prior to the natural mother making contact and the adoptee had an estranged relationship with his adoptive mother. The adoptee and his natural mother talked frequently in the beginning. The adoptee told the natural mother that he didn’t want his adoptive mother to find out he was talking to her because he didn’t think she would support any contact between the two of them.
This natural mother decided to respect that the adoptee knows that his natural mother loves him and wants nothing more than to meet him, hold him, look at him and hug him. The natural mother also realizes that she has to wait for the adoptee to be ready. She also realized that although she has loved him since the day he was conceived, he has not loved her and feels that was the hardest realization for her to come to but knows it is also true and has to wait for the day that he wants that face to face reunion.
The point to this story for me was that it helped me realize that just because a woman is raped does not mean that she didn’t love her child. It ma be true tat many women in this situation choose adoption because they can not face the daily reminder of having the child in their lives, but not all women are like and this story is living proof. This natural mother loves her child regardless of how he was conceived.
I have heard an adoptee speak of his adoption because his natural mother was raped when she was 13. He searched for his natural mother because he wanted to say thank you. This adoptee knew that he was in no way responsible for the circumstances of his birth and had as much right as the next adoptee to search for his natural mother. The process of finding his natural mother whether she wanted an ongoing relationship or not helped his natural mother to see that one good thing did come out of that horrible event in her life. The adoptee had a great life and has a son of his own.
When this adoptees natural mother saw his picture for the first time she cried and said she understands now. This adoptee was lucky in that she wanted a relationship but he would have totally understood if she declined. He just wanted the chance to tell her she did a brave and selfless thing and to simply say thank you.
What happened happened because they were dealing in truth which is something missing when it comes to most adoptions.
